Ageism, Size-ism and Name Calling

Image:  MarketingHomeProducts.com

7 year old: 'Who's the biggest person in the world?'

5 year old: 'Mummy'

7 year old: 'She's not the biggest person in the world, she's the oldest'

5 year old: 'Oh yeah she's the oldest.' Pause. 'And her head definitely isn't the biggest.'

7 year old: 'Her head's tiny'

5 year old: 'Tiny. Like a pea. Pea-head'

[They dissolve into a fit of giggles] 'Mummy is a pea-head! Mummy is a pea-head!'

7 year old: 'But she's definitely the oldest isn't she?'

5 year old 'Yeah'

7 year old 'Yeah'

3 year old 'Yeah. Pea-head'.

Listography - Top 5 Keyword Searches on Your Blog

It has to be said I've been a little slack on the Listography front lately.

The past few weeks I don't seem to have managed to make it through everyone's lists and shamefully have only left comments on the first half of the linky entrants. *Hangs head in disgrace* So this week I promise to make amends and read and comment on every single one.

To make it even better I've got a lovely little Listography for you all that shouldn't test the brain cells too much - Top 5 Keyword Searches on your Blog.

I'm thrilled with this one as I always take a keen interest in how people found my posts and all the weird and wonderful questions folk type into Google.

So my Top 5 Keyword Searches of all time (excluding blog name are):

1. Peas.
Who'd have thunk it. This little post has been my biggest generator of traffic from random searches on Google. Bizarrio.

2. Naked Blondes.
I've disappointed a hell of a lot of young men with this one.

3. Listography.
Well  I should think so too!

4. Chewbacca.
I bet all you Star Wars fans were just thrilled to stumble onto my little blog.

5. Off Switch.
Weird huh?

My next post is going to be about the time Chewbacca was caught in bed eating peas with some naked blondes before turning out the light with the off switch.

So please link up your top keyword searches by writing your post on your own blog and then coming back here to put your details in the Linky below.

This is gonna be a good un!

PS. My all time favourite keyword search that came up on my blog was 'Ireland is f*cked'. I'm so proud!

PPS. To find your top keywords on Blogger go to Stats - All time - Traffic Sources - and then scroll down. On Wordpress go to Dashboard - Site Stats - Search Engine Terms - This Week - All Time. 

Peas are your enemy

'Peas are my anenomy' says middle child as I hand him his dinner.

'Your what? Are you sure you have the right word there?'

'Yes' he responds as if I am terminally stupid before going on very slowly so that his dumbass mother can understand - 'They are my anenomy because I don't like them'.

The seven year old starts giggling and then says in her most superior voice (which believe me is pretty God damn superior) 'They are not your anenomy Marley - they're your em-en-y'.

She suddenly realises that this isn't quite right so shoots me a quick look and then shuts up.

'It's enemy darling' I say. 'Peas. Are. Your. Enemy' (I wonder to myself what social services would say if they were to walk in at this moment. In fact - I wonder what any one would say if they were to walk in at this moment.)

'Anenony...emeny...enemy...anyway - I'm going to watch the moon-set and they're not coming'.

I don't think that's really a sentence you want to argue with.