When your best friend dumps you...

We've had our ups and downs before of course.

The old Cromwellian raping and pillaging left a bad taste for a few centuries and those bombs in the 80's dampened the relationship a little, but we've been getting along pretty well since then as far as I'm concerned.

Joining the European Union together in the 70's meant that little old Ireland had a big brother to look out for us - a brother that was far bigger and more powerful than we would ever be. A brother who would put his arm around us and say to others 'hey, don't go picking on this guy ok?'

But then David Cameron came along and decided to leave us naked in the school yard whilst the bullies circle us, taunting the little guy whilst stealing our lunch money.

And what can we do about it?

Absolutely nothing. We can't stick up to them because we need their protection. We can't ditch our best mate (who incidentally already dumped us) because we need them too.

We're the poor kid with the holey jumper and patches on his trousers who gets pushed around whilst desperately trying to please both the bullies and the turncoats.

Of course it may turn out the D.C. has actually done us a favour. Perhaps walking away from the deal was the best thing for all of us, only time will tell. But for now we're left feeling like we've lost our only friend in the world and another kicking is just around the corner.

Perhaps we better all get shin pads for Christmas this year.