The Conundrum of the Too Tight Jeans

So yesterday was pretty depressing.

I was late up which meant I spent the hour before the school run racing around making lunches, dressing kids, wiping up weetabix,  finding shoes....you know - the usual. Finishing all my chores I had about five minutes left to get myself dressed so threw on a pair of jeans and a...hang on a sec....these jeans don't seem to fit me...that's odd, I'm sure I had them on the other day...

Not having time to work out the Conundrum of the Too Tight Jeans I instead whipped them off and picked another pair from the cupboard. Putting them on as I should have been heading out the door I realised, to my dismay let me tell you, that these jeans did not fit either. There was not one but two rolls of fat hanging over the waistband that was about to cut off the circulation to my stomach (in hindsight maybe not such a bad thing). So the conundrum was solved - there was no conundrum, just flab.

Disgusted I threw the second pair of jeans on the floor and put on my ever-stretchy-wait-'til-you-hear-this-Northernmum - jeggings. Oh yeah baby.

And off I went.

Now, I'm not writing this for the 'shut up you're not fat' comments. I'm just writing it to say I can't fit into my jeans anymore and it's pissing me off. I'm also writing it to say that I'm allowed to moan about my two-pack tummy looking like the 'belly gonna get you' ad without people throwing things at me and rolling their eyes. Stop rolling your eyes.

I told my sister this evening about my jeans story and the glee in her face was palpable. 'You're getting fat again' said her eyes, 'Ha ha ha' they said, 'about time too'.

Next time that girl comes 'round here I'm gonna belly slam her to the floor. Now that'll show her.