10 stereotype mums at the school gate

Stereotypes are stereotypes for a reason. Usually they are an exaggeration of a nugget of truth, and stereotype mums are no different.

And now that it's the school holidays I think I'm brave enough to post this.

So how many of these have you spotted at the school gate?

1. PA Mum

Runs the school. You spend every drop-off and collection hiding from her in case she asks you to bake scones for the upcoming fundraiser. Always with clipboard in hand, she is admired and feared in equal measure.

2. Celtic Tiger Mum

Can’t quite get over the fact that her starter home turned out to be her forever home due to astronomic negative equity. Dresses her little darling in pinafores from Zara and Next because this was how it was supposed to be, God damn it! Hides her shopping bags and maxed-out credit cards from her knackered husband.

3. Glam Mum

Glam Mum always looks immaculate, with her twice-weekly blow dry and perfectly applied makeup. Drives a black 4WD and owns a golden retriever. Friends with Celtic Tiger Mum, who simultaneously hates her and wants to be her.

Me on the school run...

4. Keep-Fit Mum

Always in lyrca and still manages to look good. Bitch.

5. As Gaeilge Mamaí

Tá sí go hálainn ar fad! And isn’t little Fiachra so lucky to have a Mamaí who chats to him as gaeilge whenever anyone else is in listening distance?

6. Crusty Mum

With baby in a rainbow sling and another child trailing behind her in handknitted jumper and wellie boots, Crusty Mum is at one with her life. Tells you how much Willow loves to eat her delicious lentil and quinoa hotpot for lunch but secretly feeds her white-bread sandwiches after school. Exclusive to Educate Together school gates.

7. Working Mum

AKA late mum. Can be seen running down the road in heels five minutes after the bell has gone.

8. SAHM

Knows all the children in the class by name and is practically best friends with the teacher. Stays on to help with arts and crafts in the mornings and randomly turns up with cupcakes for everyone. SAHM seems to be on top of it all, but is inwardly screaming 'HOW DID THIS HAPPEN TO ME?? I USED TO DO SHOTS IN BARS AND HAVE INAPPROPRIATE SEX WITH STRANGERS!'

9. Best Mum

Because she's better than all of you. She knows it, you know it, let's just leave it there.

10.  You

Because really you're a little bit of all of them.

This blogpost originally appeared on parent.ie and is JUST A JOKE. Any resemblance to real persons living or dead is purely coincidental. *cough*. 

Coming out the other side

Sometimes when I see women with small children struggling in a supermarket, or sitting staring blankly on a bench in the playground, I feel sorry for them. Unlike me, they are not yet coming out the other side.

I should start by saying that, for me, having children was the most wonderful thing that happened in my life. The force of the love took me a bit by surprise - it is all-encompassing and inescapable. Your children fill your days, your thoughts, your heart and your soul. And it is magical.

But boy, is it hard.

My three children are now aged 6, 8, and 10 - and life with them is good. But looking back to when they were 6 months, 2 years, and 4 years, I honestly don’t know how I coped. It was Hard Work.

I’m not sure exactly when it changed, but I distinctly remember one Sunday morning looking up from the newspaper and thinking, "Hold on a second, I’ve just read that entire supplement and there’s still nobody looking for me."  

Those days of constant 5am starts, tiredness that leaves you feeling like you are operating on a different level from everyone around you, the constant running from task to task to task, the breaking up arguments, the guilt that you didn’t leave the house with them again today, the juggling of three levels of development when no one seems to get what they need and you are left falling asleep on the sofa at 8.30pm - they're all gone for me now. At the time it seemed as if those days were interminable, like they each lasted for a week and they would never, ever end.  But I’m here to tell you that they do.

Enjoying a gig in Hyde Park

As your children grow more independent and playschool or school beckons, the mind-fog clears a bit and you gain some headspace. You start planning things again – exercise classes to join, a business to start up, hobbies to begin, trips to take. Your house begins to become your own once more as multi-coloured plastic toys are consigned to the charity shop and replaced with much less offensive footballs and DS’s. You start to find a little me time again – going out, reconnecting with old friends, finding the old you to mix with the mum you.

If you are in the thick of it, crawling through each new day and wondering whether you will ever make it, the answer is - you will.

So embrace the chaos, revel in the cuddles, and try to just breathe. I’ll see you on the other side very soon.

Linking up to All about you on Mama and More

A post about Coast

I need a wedding people.

A wedding or a job.

You see I have the outfit all picked out and now I just need an excuse to wear it. A wedding would be perfect, or a Christmas party - but all my friends are already married, and working for myself doesn't make for much of an xmas do.

I blame those people at Coast. They challenged me to look through their collection and see what I could find. Put a 'dream outfit' together from their Coast products. We have words for people like that. Lucky for them that I'm too polite to use them here.

Anyway, within about 30 seconds I had this gorgeous shift dress on my wish list:

Coast Kisette Dress

(Husband if you are reading take note).

And then it was a simple case of adding some accessories. A classic clutch....

Coast Felicia Clutch

and some jewellery to top it all off.

Coast Fern Bracelet

Coast Fern Earrings

See? Now you can  understand my problem.

So can anyone help? Drop a few hints to that boyfriend of yours? Employ me as Official Christmas Party Elf? Or will I be dancing around my living room to Max Bygraves Singalongamaxmas on my own?

Disclosure: This is a sponsored post. But I still want that dress.