When the kids were off school for the summer holidays each day was a delicate balance of keeping them entertained during one half of the day so that they would leave me alone to work for the other half.
Then the back to school mayhem ensued with books, uniforms, lunch boxes and bags to be bought, and clubs and teams to be signed up to and paid for.
But now that the routine is settling a bit I have time to stop and take stock, and I realise that I desperately need to book myself in for a full MOT.
I can't remember the last time I made it to a hairdresser, and as for 'maintenance' in the waxing department - lets just say I'm not exactly rushing to put my swimsuit on any time soon.
As the weather starts to turn colder getting dressed in the morning is taking longer and longer. Summer dresses are no longer possible and jumpers and cardis are few and far between. Some new season clothes are most definitely required.
On top of all this I also am running out of every lotion and potion in my collection at exactly the same time. Last week I dropped my beloved Nars blusher on the bathroom floor and watched my son stand on the broken bits sending the tiles a lovely orgasmic pink. And then the icing on the cake - someone poured my Benefit High Beam down the toilet.
Naturally I freaked out. I called the three of them into the tiny bathroom and shut the door. 'No one leaves this room until you tell me who did it' I seethed.
'It wasn't me' said number 1 child so we all looked at number 2.
'Well it wasn't me!' said number 2 child, so we all looked at number 3.
'It wasn't me either!' said number 3 child affronted at the mere thought of it. 'And if it was I can't remember doing it'.
So my MOT list is getting ever longer and the bank balance ever shorter. I think I may just skip it all and go straight for the alcohol....
