Just a minute...

I was listening to Irish Radio today - an often painful experience where particularly bad quiz shows are par for the course. And when I say bad I mean bad. If you don't believe me I only have to tell you that Ireland once had a TV quiz show called Quicksilver where the prize that the contestants competed for started at - wait for it - 1p. That's right, one pence. After that it went up in increments of 3p or 5p. Heady days. And that was Television. You can just imagine what the radio ones were like.

Truth is they haven't improved much. But listening to the radio today brought back to me one in particular - Larry Gogan's 'Just a minute quiz' where contestants had one minute to answer as many questions as possible, sometimes with hilarious outcomes. Larry had a catch phrase for those who didn't do so well 'Ah sure the questions didn't really suit you'; he probably thought it lessoned the blow of public humiliation. I can't recall what the prize was but suffice to say it was more than likely a mug.

So, for your enjoyment I thought I'd grab a few of the questions and, ahem, answers from the archives for you.

Actual answers given to Larry Gogan on the Just a Minute Quiz.

1) Something a blind man might use?
A Sword

2) A Song with the word Moon in the title?
Blue Suede Moon

3) Name the Capital of France?
F

4) Name a bird with a long Neck?
Naomi Campbell

5) Name an occupation where you might need a torch?
A burglar

6) Where is the Taj Mahal?
Opposite the Dental Hospital

7) What is Hitlers first name ?
Heil

8) A dangerous race ?
The Arabs

9) Something that floats in a bath ?
Water

10) A famous Royal ?
Mail

11) A famous bridge ?
The Bridge Over Troubled Waters

12) Something you do in the bathroom ?
Decorate

13) A method of securing your home ?
Put the kettle on

14) Something associated with pigs ?
The Police

15) Something people might be allergic to ?
Skiing

16) Something you do before you go to bed ?
Sleep

17) Something you put on walls ?
A roof

18) A Jacket Potato topping ?
Jam

19) Something you open other than a door ?
Your bowels

20) Finish the sentence 'As happy as.....'
Contestant: (silence)
Larry: Think of my name.
Contestant: 'A pig in shit'.

And here's my personal favourite:
Larry: (after a caller got none of 18 questions right) - "Ah sure the questions didn't really suit you did they?"
Contestant "Ah go and fuck off Larry you're only an old bollox."

Now surely that should be worth 1p.