'Ha ha! I've got a big, big dick' I heard my four year old call from downstairs.
I waited a moment to see what was coming next.
'I've got a big dick and I'm going to hit you with it!'
'Muuum! He's trying to attack me.' his brother shouted 'and he has a weapon!'
I plod down the stairs and hold out my hand. 'Hand over the stick boy'.
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'What's for dinner?' one of them asks peering round my legs.
'Spicy chicken legs and broccoli' I reply waiting for the moans.
'Oh broomsticks!' he says looking at the chicken 'I love them!'
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Baking. The buns are almost finished.
'I want the bowl!' shouts one.
'I want the spoon' shouts another.
'The whiskers are mine then' says the last.
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Later I'm sitting on the floor with the little terror who is trying to escape my kisses.
'Come on - give your Mum a big smacker'
Seconds later his fist hits my face.
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I know it's bad mothering, but I do love their own little language.
